clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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