Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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