East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
