it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she smelled like a LAN party
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
