I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
