We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He? As in you personified your dick?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
