Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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