awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
