Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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