Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
