Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
