you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
