Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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