I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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