so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
