You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
