shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
