I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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