That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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