Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
