we're blogging at a bar
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
