he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
