Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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