Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
