i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Randomize
