But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
