We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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