She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize