I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
