Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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