It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
