dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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