maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
