i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
