Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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