I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
