see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
