so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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