I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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