Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize