Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
