So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
