its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
