he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
