Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
