I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
