Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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(949): View more from California

Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(916): View more from California

this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

(860): View more from Connecticut

So?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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(719): View more from Colorado

I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?

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(740): View more from Ohio

Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.

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