Dignity is for republicans.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
