Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize