I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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