DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
