Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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