Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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