you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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