And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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