just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
