Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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