I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
