only if we run a train.
done.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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