And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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