he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
