Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this boner is exhausting
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize