these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
