my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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