Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
