Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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