I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
