I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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