Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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