shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
